To all of our faithful readers, farewell. We bid you adieu with a fond goodbye and a reminder of what I learned on my journey…A to Z!
A) When people want to feel smart they read a smart book, wear a fancy outfit or act like a jackass.
B) Ammonia and sewage smell bad and make you throw up BUT, can lead to a better view of the pool.
C) Justin Timberlake, while a fine pop singer, cannot compare to a God-made thunderstorm of terrifying proportions.
D) Also, God makes GIGANTIC bugs. Seriously, a cockroach the size of a small child.
E) Warm weather vacations should come with these fashion warnings:
* If the string of your bikini becomes lost in the folds of your fat, you might want to reconsider.
* Nude pantyhose booties do NOT go with dressy high heel sandals and a skirt.
* If monkeys aren’t allowed at the pool, then banana hammocks should be banned as well. Especially, ones decorated with your country’s flag.
* When taking a nap on a deck chair all curled up in a tiny bikini, make sure you cover your business or everyone will know if you are brazilian.
F) Monkeys are soft to the touch and downtown Cancun is infested with drug dealers and pimps.
G) Sunshine makes you feel beautiful enough to walk around in a bathing suit and not feel self conscious (See item “E”)
H) The Mexican people are kind and can teach us a lot about doing quality work.
I) Why get one wakeup call when you can get two?
J) Shawna is a gracious and fun friend (I actually already knew that but I wanted to remind her that I know and appreciate it)
K) When you say “Pina colada, extra rum” – be ready
L) In Mexico, the beef tastes gamey but the wine tastes spicy and fabulous
M) In any language, hydrotherapy and holistic massage is spelled: AHHH!
N) Azul means blue not sun (thanks Hugo!)
O) Some American TV shows are actually better in Spanish – like Alf , Mork and Mindy – oh, and Facts of Life.
P) Karaoke brings out the hillbillies
Q) Running sandals can double as a perfect packing device for bottles of liquor
R) The best Mexican food is French fries with ranch and a side of chocolate cake…what? Room service 24 hours a day…COME ON!
S) Humid climates make your digital camera fog up
T) Tiny lizards will infiltrate your hotel room and scare the crap out of you.
U) High SPF sunscreen is always a good choice but sometimes you gotta throw caution to the wind!
V) Saying 26 things you learned is harder than you might think…um…um…don’t save the restaurant with the dress code until the last night because it WILL turn out to be the best food you had all week.
W) As a rule, if a creepy guy at the market asks you to go out dancing with him, say no.
X) Watching “Dora” can help you communicate with someone who only speaks Spanish.
Y) Because I love you…
Z) Being in a beautiful sun-drenched, flower-dotted, white-beached, all inclusive, 24-hour room service, hammock-patioed, mecca of relaxation doesn’t hold a candle to a 5 year old running into my arms and saying, “Mommy, I missed you – I love you!”
Yeah, yeah…now get back to real life! As always, it has been our pleasure to serve you!
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